Who among us does not enjoy the giving and receiving of gifts? Sometimes, the gift is something we didn’t even know we needed―until we began using it―then we wonder how we ever lived without it?
We all know that giving feedback is one of the most difficult, yet also one of the most important responsibilities of a good leader. Difficult, because we are never sure how it will be received, yet important because we know how much the recipient will appreciate it, especially once they begin wondering how they ever lived without this gift!
I used to have a water polo coach who would constantly tell me all the things I was doing wrong, and never provided me with solutions or ways to improve. I kept coming home from practice despondent, not enjoying it, feeling like the coach was picking on me, and feeling like a constant failure. My confidence started to take a knock. I could have remained in that discouraged state of mind the entire season, and had my performance affected by this type of leadership style. This is when I was first exposed to the fact that each leader has their own style and way of leading, and they do not always fit perfectly with everyone’s personalities.
I learned very quickly that feedback does not need to be a one-way conversation, and can (and should) be used as a powerful tool. Instead of allowing this feedback to affect and ruin my season, I had to adapt and find a way to make his leadership style work in my favor―so I started asking my coach a million questions. He would tell me something I was doing wrong, and I would combat it by asking him what I should do instead. I got so big into asking questions that I would start asking questions before we even began the drill, so I could preempt what I may do wrong and fix it before I even began. My coach was so open to all the questions, and it resulted in many more of my teammates asking their own questions, changing the way they received and viewed feedback.
I have taken this tool of asking questions with me into the corporate environment. I still ask a million questions―making sure it shows that I have a learning mentality―and they create an open dialogue for constant improvement and constructive feedback. It has also allowed me to become more comfortable with being told the things I am not so great at, and what I can do to improve. Let’s be honest, no one likes to be told they are doing something wrong, or that they have places to improve.
There are many other tools and resources you can use to help you navigate feedback. Tracy Spears led an alumni webinar on the topic, “Custom Order Your Feedback,” where she shared a one page document about how you like your feedback. You can share this form with people in your team, and with your direct manager, and discover a great exercise on learning how best to give and receive feedback.
When you open the communication and make your leaders feel comfortable to constantly give feedback, it stops feeling like criticism and becomes your greatest gift―a lifelong gift―of constant learning and growth development.
About the Author
Seri Kravitz: Former Professional Athlete and Director of the Signature Collective & Marketing
Seri Kravitz boasts a distinguished 12-year career as a professional water polo player, representing both South Africa and Australia on the global stage. Upon retiring from active competition, Seri transitioned into coaching, where she demonstrated a knack for nurturing highly successful teams. Her coaching acumen propelled her to the helm of the South African Women’s National team, where she was a vocal advocate for equality for women in minority sports.
Transitioning from the pool to the digital realm, Seri played a pivotal role in the inception and exponential growth of the online community for JEFF Fitness, a South Africa-based startup. As one of the cornerstone members of the company, Seri contributed to its remarkable expansion from a modest team of 15 to a robust workforce of over 100 within a year. Under her stewardship, the JEFF community grew from the ground up to a thriving network of over 70,000 members. Seri was instrumental in developing a unique platform, revolutionizing the approach to health and wellness.
Now serving as the Director of the Signature Collective & Marketing, Seri is dedicated to supporting the 3,000-strong alumni of Signature leaders, fostering a vibrant community of trailblazers.
Seri now calls Franklin, Tennessee home, where she enjoys a fulfilling family life with her spouse, two young children, and a beloved dog.
