This past month in the Collective, we’ve been focusing on self-limiting beliefs and how to manage them. We’ve had our amazing faculty leading discussions on what self-limiting beliefs are and how to reframe them, and most importantly, how to work this new skill into your daily lives.
Self-limiting beliefs is one of my favorite things to talk about because they’re so prevalent for everyone, and they’re incredibly powerful, in terms of blocking us from achieving our full potential. They take years (lifetimes) to build up and can be hard to dismantle―unless you have some simple, yet powerful, tools to help you.
In our Signature programs, we talk about our inner critics. During my coach training through CTI, we dubbed it our “Saboteur.” Regardless of what you call that voice, we all have one. In fact, in our latest Session webinar, our faculty member who was leading the discussion challenged us to personify our inner critic by giving him/her a name. I’ve long been familiar with my Saboteur―she’s a Sith Lord with her sneaky mind control. Negative self-talk can pop into my mind, seemingly out of nowhere, and completely derail me. But I’ve never named her. Until now. I’d like to introduce you to Darth Onyx.
Over the years, I’ve found two simple, yet powerful, words―6 letters―that immediately negate what Darth Onyx attempts to derail: GET and YET.
A few years ago, I went to a workshop run by a functional nutritionist who focused, not just on food, but also on hormones and the mind-body connection. Her premise was that one needs to look at the whole self to truly influence positive change. You can exercise, eat right, sleep well―but if your Darth Onyx is still telling you negative things, your likelihood of success diminishes. She introduced the power of GET―it blew my mind―and I’ve loved sharing it with others and watching their minds be blown as well.
When we think about things we have to, or should do, or need to, it feels heavy―like a requirement or a punishment. It drains our energy and demotivates us. But if we shift those phrases to get to, suddenly, the mood shifts, and it’s an opportunity instead of a necessity. For example:
I have to go on a diet. versus I get to fuel and take care of my body with healthy food.
I should do more exercise. versus I get to strengthen my body.
I need to finish this project. versus I get to showcase my expertise and move my team forward.
YET is a reframe we use with our kids all the time (hat tip to my husband for introducing me to this one). This one is even easier than GET because all you need to do is add YET to a sentence. For example:
I don’t know how to do this math problem… yet.
I’m not good at playing soccer… yet.
I’m not sure how to solve this work problem… yet.
I have too many responsibilities, so I can’t prioritize myself… yet.
Simple… yet powerful. How can you use these reframes in your daily lives? Can you catch yourself when your Darth Onyx is talking to you and use these 6 letters to reframe a challenge into an opportunity? Do they help quiet YOUR Saboteur?
About the Author
Rebecca Callahan: Vice President, Signature Collective
Rebecca joined Signature Leaders in August of 2022 as Vice President of the Signature Collective. She brings to the team more than two decades of experience in marketing, client management, operations, product, and sales. In her role with Signature Leaders, she is able to marry passion and purpose by developing and growing the Signature Collectives’ impact.
Prior to joining Signature Leaders, Rebecca was with Northstar Travel Group for almost ten years, serving in a variety of roles, always with focuses on client success and retention initiatives. Earlier in her career, she had the opportunity to work with multiple marketing agencies on strategic programs for a variety of clients and industries. Rebecca has a deep passion for understanding her clients’ pain points and then solving for them.
Rebecca received her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and English from the University of Colorado at Boulder and her MBA, with an emphasis in Marketing and Corporate Strategy, from the Stephen M. Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan.
A native-born Floridian, Rebecca has always been a Coloradan, at heart, and she currently lives in Denver with her husband, two teenagers, and two crazy Labradors. When not thinking about how to expand and improve experiences for the Signature Collective, you will find her on the hiking trails in the summer and the ski slopes in the winter, and often with a great book in her hand.
